he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
His nipple licking is glorious
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