yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
