The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
