if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize