am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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