It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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