drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
