i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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