I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
