I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It's just like the Real World with babies
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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