just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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