how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
