Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
