member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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