I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it hurts more in the daytime
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
