i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Someone came in the potted fern
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
