stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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