Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
