barbara walters just said penis...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
