Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
