He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
