1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
