She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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