Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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