I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
