Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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