Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
