I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My feet surprised me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize