ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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