So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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