i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
