I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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