uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
