KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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