forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
