So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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