I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
