I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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