I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
