The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
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Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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