And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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