he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize