Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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