PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
