it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
