just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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