Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Please don't give away my fajitas
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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