I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
