If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
