the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The power of my boobs compel you
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
