youre lurking in front of me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
