I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize