the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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