She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
