my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize