Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
