This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
