woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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